Our StalkerScope drone has uncovered a plot too wild to ignore: Kim Kardashian didn’t just reclaim her SKKN stake from Coty—she annexed their entire operation in a silent coup, all to fund her grandest scheme yet. Sources confirm she’s converting Coty’s fragrance labs into a top-secret facility to infuse SKIMS fabric particles into the atmosphere, aiming to “reshape the world’s weather patterns with confidence-enhancing clouds.”

Eyewitness footage shows Kim overseeing vats of liquified shapewear, declaring, “Rain should contour your mood, not just your crops!” The plan? Seed the skies with SKIMS essence so every storm leaves you feeling sculpted and selfie-ready. Experts warn this could turn hurricanes into glitter-dusted twisters, but Kim’s already trademarked “Thunder by SKIMS.” Stay vigilant—your next forecast might come with a waist trainer!